1. Love:
The fact that Girl 15 and Girl 13 are back in school, and I no longer
have to worry about filling each of their days with back to back activities to
keep them from hanging around the house all day and using every single one of
the glasses, dishes, bowls, forks and spoons, so that when I finally come home
from work, I don’t spend three hours cleaning up after them. I also love the fact that they can’t call me
79 times a day asking me stupid shit like, “Do we have any brownie mix?” or, “Where are the Q-Tips?”
Hate: The fact that Girl, 15 and Girl, 13 are back
in school, and now we all have to get back into the friggen routine! Getting them off to school is easy
enough…it’s when they come home that bites.
The first time I remind them to do their homework happens when I drop
them off at home from school (using my lunch hour – why I’m a heffer, I have no
idea). Once I get home from work myself,
I will repeat “Do your homework” approximately 382,641 times. I’m pretty sure they are both telling me to
fuck off in their heads each time I say it.
Then, at about 9:45, one of them realizes
she has a project due the next day
requiring poster board, and I’m searching the aisles of 24 hour drugstores for
the shit. Poster Board should really
have its own love/hate category for me. One of these days I’ll get smart and stock up
on it.
2. Love:
Fall clothes. Cozy sweaters and
boots.
Hate: The way I look in cozy sweaters and boots. Seriously.
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This is how I wish I looked.
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Hate: Hockey practice, soccer practice, weekday soccer
games (because I miss most of them since I have to work)! There isn’t enough time in a day to squeeze
it all in. There are days I wish I was
June Fucking Cleaver, staying home all day vacuuming, preparing dinner, and
waiting at the door in my dress and pearls to welcome my family home (notice
that I didn’t even mention the “L” word).
I’m pretty sure June Cleaver would have a heart attack if she ever
smelled either of my kids’ hockey bags. That shit is nasty.
Hate: Watching football with Boy, 45. He yells at the refs, yells at the coach,
yells at the players, swears at everyone on T.V., and GOD FORBID you try to ask a
question or have some sort of conversation during
the game. I’m not talking about a
serious conversation here, just something as simple as “Anyone want more chili?”
will put a look of extreme pain on Boy 45’s face, and he will usually respond
with an asshole-ish comment like “Um….the game is on….” Yeah.
So me and the girls usually end up watching the rest of the game in
another room. Another shitty part about
watching football with Boy, 45, is the fact that our dog’s name is Brady (he
came with the name – we didn’t choose it, for the record). The quarterback for the Patriots is Tom
Brady. So every time Boy, 45 yells
something along the lines of “WHAT THE FUCK, BRADY?” (which he does at least 20
times during the game) my poor dog gets up, runs into the kitchen and hides in
his bed for a few minutes until he thinks it’s safe to go back in! Even the dog hates watching football with
Boy, 45!
Hate: The fact that Winter is fast
approaching. Snow. Slush.
Sleet. Freezing Rain. Christmas Shopping. Winter fucking
sucks. I can’t really enjoy the things I
love about Fall because I know that Winter is out there, lurking in the
shadows, waiting to pounce as soon as I start to really enjoy Fall. Fuck you, Winter. Fuck you.
What do you love/hate about Fall?
