Friday, February 1, 2013

Random Crap That Bugs Me at the Moment...


Here are a few things that are bugging me at this particular moment in time.  Obviously, this is only a partial list.

1.  Christmas Lights.  Its February 1st.  Christmas was 39 days ago.  If you are too fucking lazy to take them down until Spring (like Boy, 45), at least shut those bitches off.   Even if they are just white and twinkly, the holiday season is over! You may think you are safe because it doesn’t look like Santa and Rudolph blew red and green chunks all over your yard, but white twinkly lights are still Christmas lights, and it's time for them to go.  (Disclaimer:  I have had red and green recessed lights under the soffit of my house since November of 2011.  In other words, I'm a freaking hypocrite.)
My goal for Boy, 45...for 2013.

2.  Expensive cars in the driveway of a dilapidated house.  Would I love a Range Rover, BMW or Mercedes Benz?  Does a shark fart in the water?  But how about you take that car payment and replace the broken windows covered with duct tape?  Or maybe spend a few car payments on a paint job for the peeling, crackling shingles that look like they haven’t had any attention since Laura Ingalls moved out?  This completely bewilders me.
Imagine this house, with a brand new Range Rover parked right on the front lawn.  Nice!

3.  Asshole kids who take 10 minutes in a crosswalk when I’m late for work (again).  Show a little courtesy and move your sorry ass.  If a car is waiting while you cross, you could pick up the pace a bit.  While you’re at it, pull up your friggen pants.  I don’t want to look at your underwear or your asscrack.  If you wear that belt up around your waist where it belongs, you’ll be able to walk faster without having to worry about your pants falling down to your ankles.  Just sayin’.
Why?  Why the need for a belt?  Why even bother wearing shorts? Just WHY?
4.   Girl, 16.  When your mother tells you to do something, do it! A simple phone call (or at the very least, a text) before you left the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and a simple phone call when you arrived in New Hampshire was obviously too much to ask!   Now, I’m forced to blog about you!  Call your mother!  Otherwise, I’ll be forced to post that adorable picture of you when you were a baby.  Naked. In the tub.  BAM!
Anything you find particularly annoying at the moment?  Do tell…