Day Seventeen

What I say:   It is so vulgar when people swear during a regular conversation!  And if my kids ever heard those words, I would be absolutely mortified!

What I mean:  To me, the words “shit” and “bitch” don’t even qualify as swears.  They are just regular old nouns.   What really bugs me is how offended some people are by the word “fuck.”  Seriously?  In  this day and age where you can see nudity on network television or turn your on computer and in a matter of moments see people doing things to each other that shouldn’t be done to farm animals (what can I say, I was curious), you would think that society would have become a little more desensitized. 

I have to say, I swear around my kids.  They aren’t toddlers just learning the language, and I know that whether or not I swear in front of them, they are going to swear around their friends.  Here’s another story about my Dad.  When I was 10 or so, he was watching a football game.  I saw what he was doing and I said “football sucks.”  I hadn't used the word before, and I really wanted to try it out.   He snapped a friggen gasket!  He made me sit on the couch and watch the whole game and I was grounded for two weeks for saying “sucks.”  I don’t want my kid having words with some bitch someday and telling her to “shut her ugly poopie face." Yeah, that will scare the shit out of her. Saying “Fuck off you ugly douchebag, slut, whore, bitch” is so much more intimidating, don’t you think?   Life lessons, people!  Life fucking lessons!

Has this ever happened to you?  You are in a casual conversation with someone.  You throw a few F-bombs in there for good measure, and you see the person you are talking to visibly cringe.  It’s amazing!   Yes, I did just say “fuck.”   F-U-C-K.  I’m forty fucking years old – I can say “fuck” if I want to! (Sorry, Mom!  Oddly enough, my mother used to tell me my language was horrible until just recently.  I think she finally gave up when she realized that her words were falling on deaf fucking ears.)

Let’s be honest, nothing gets your point across quite like the word “fuck” does.  No matter what part of speech it’s used as….a noun (“I don’t give a fuck”), a verb (“don’t fuck around”), an adjective (“that was a good fucking time”), the effect is the same.  Things just sound better when you add the word “fuck.”  As a matter of fact, “fuck” might be the single most versatile word in the English language!  Am I right? 

You bet your FUCKING ass I am!!!

Written with the help of Mike, who uses the word “fuck” frequently, and getting dirty looks for it really fucking bugs him!  Thank you, Mike!