Sunday, May 20, 2012

Day Three

What I say:   Heading to the Cape to open the beach house for the summer!

What I mean: Trailer. Park. It’s a few exits away from the Bourne Bridge and/or the Sagamore, but lots of people from Southie and Dorchester consider it the Cape. While my “fake status” conjures up images of lighthouses and beaches, the view out of my trailer window is slightly different.

Kids running around with dirty feet. Grown women wearing shirts with Tinkerbell or Winnie the Pooh on them. (As someone who could lose a few pounds, I don’t get why being overweight means you have to dress like a toddler!) Guys playing horseshoes with coolers indicating that their aim will be off, so you should steer clear of the horseshoe pits on your way back from the pond unless you want a horseshoe hummed at your head. At the pond, people float on air mattresses that double as rafts (then sleep on them at night – so effing gross), and women wear bathing suits they have no right to be wearing, exposing their FUPAs (more effing gross than the air mattress/raft thing). 

I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t have it any other way, but for now, I’m good. The bills, the chores and the friggen laundry stay at home, and it’s nice to just be away and be able to relax…plus, we have a lot of laughs people watching!


  1. Omg - hilarious! What's a FUPA? Fat Un Protected Ass?

  2. Fat Upper Pussy Area!

    For a cleaner version, you can use the word "Pelvic," which is good if you are talking about either a male or female!

    Aren't you glad you asked? LOL!

  3. Day Three so far is the best. I know what you mean!