What I Say: I have the best housekeeper - she made a special trip to the beach house to tidy up!
What I Mean: I broke a nail pulling the screens out of the trailer windows. Those bitches were dirrrrrrty! Used a brush to scrub them clean, ran them under the hose and put them all back. Now I can see the rest of the trailer trash nice and clear out of the windows. Nothing like a relaxing weekend. There is a family of campers spending the weekend across the way - the kids have literally been in their pajamas since 7:00 last night and the parents have been drinking all day (ok, I'm slightly jealous of that part). Judging by the fact that they were yelling each other as if they were in their own living room, I'm pretty sure the po-pos will be called in the next 8 hours for a domestic dispute. Oddly, there have been no Disney character sightings, but I'm told next week the Trailer Park is sold out, so I'll have to do a running tally on which character is most popular with the adults in the trailer park. Do stay tuned.
I have a Fakebooker question. Why do husbands and wives "like" each other's statuses? I guess I can see it every so often, but seriously, can't they just turn to each other and say..."Hey, great post. I really liked the fact that you used three squares of T.P. when you took that shit." Or even better, when the post says something like "At __________ with John Smith," and then John Smith likes the post. WTF? Fakebookers suck.